what is it about me?

is it my innocent face?
my purity of soul?
or my total lack of caring and compunction?
who the fuck knows what it is, my REAL question is this- why am i the girl to be confided in when you have some sort of gross, "i am an adulterer and we are in love" type confession to make?
why am i the go to girl for the confession that "we are in love but nobody can know because it will hurt too many people" or "i will get fired" or "i am a complete degenerate but we LOOOOVVVVEEE each other so it's ok"

seriously, why me? i am the most skeptical person about love and sacrificing for love, especially sacrificing other relationships, especially sacrificing friendships, especially sacrificing your own personal goals and integrity, especially sacrificing the lives of your children, excuse me, but fuck you for being so goddamn selfish.

i mean the truth is that i'm sure i am wrong about love in general and in practice, obviously my jaded opinions on love haven't really ever gotten me that far, but trust me i have no desire to get "far" if it means i have to sell out every moral fiber in my body.
which brings me back to my original question-

Why. why in the name of anything that is holy to anybody, but clearly not me, why am I of all people the confidant?
is it because normally nothing can phase me and i usually think that for the most part everyone should do the things that make themselves happy?

maybe the problem is that you don't understand that i think that only applies when you are the only person affected, maybe the problem is that you don't understand that i think that you are ABHORRENT when you sell out other people and lie and cheat and do things that make it impossible for other people to live their lives honestly.
maybe that's my problem
maybe that' s one of my many problems.
maybe people need to stop telling me things.
maybe i need to shut up and go to sleep

abhorrent
bitches


xo
alyce